I'm not really sure what all these are. They may become something else some day, or just sit here. I'm not even sure if they have any meaning. But I wrote them, so they're here.
Untitled # 1
Why do people always sabotage themselves? Whenever I think I’m doing ok, I go ahead and say the wrong thing. I’m trying to do right, and I just do more wrong. Is this what life is made up of? Mistakes, fights, problems, solutions, and then the situation repeats. Sure, it’s a different mistake, but the storyline is always the same. Its like history: war, treaty, peace, repeat. Different wars, different treaties, but the results are the same. Why can’t I just have one conversation with you where I don’t make you angry? Why can’t we avoid the topics we know will start the cycle up again? I want to break the cycle, to start a new storyline, one where we get along.
Untitled # 2
A phone call can change everything. One call can make or break an entire career with a simple “You’re hired” or a devastating blow: “You’re fired.” It can rekindle an old romance, “Would you like to get some coffee this afternoon and try again,” or end one that isn’t clicking anymore, “This isn’t working for me.” One call can leave someone crying, either with joy or with sadness. In a phone call, an entire universe can be shattered. A person can find out a new baby was born, or their favorite grandparent has died. A doctor can call their patient to make an appointment for a routine checkup, or tell them to come in for an emergency visit after looking at the test results. A child can come out to their parents and receive the love they need, “We love you no matter what,” or the reject they feared, “Get out of my life”. A parent can tell their son or daughter that everything worked out, or that they are getting a divorce. A new life can be created when the boss tells his employee “You’re being transferred and need to move to the other side of the country.” That’s when the family can cry over losing the life they created on one coast before moving to the other, or look at the move as an opportunity to create something even better.
It’s looking at each new stage of our lives as the opportunity for something better that really helps us live life to the fullest. It’s the search for opportunity that drives our curiosity, raises questions, fuels searches. If we live satisfied with what we have, we’ll never strive to raise the bar, fulfill our human sense of desire. Desire is not the devil’s invention, but a positive human trait when channeled into the right searches. Desire for pleasure, power, and fulfillment are not bad in themselves. They are bad when they are out of control. A desire to rule the world, for instance, is extreme. A desire to become CEO of the company you’re merely interning in right now? Not a bad ambition. Desire for fulfillment of sexual pleasures? Not bad in itself. It’s when it crosses the line, cheating or prostituting for instance. When desire channels our energy towards an important goal, we are using our human abilities to the fullest.
It’s looking at each new stage of our lives as the opportunity for something better that really helps us live life to the fullest. It’s the search for opportunity that drives our curiosity, raises questions, fuels searches. If we live satisfied with what we have, we’ll never strive to raise the bar, fulfill our human sense of desire. Desire is not the devil’s invention, but a positive human trait when channeled into the right searches. Desire for pleasure, power, and fulfillment are not bad in themselves. They are bad when they are out of control. A desire to rule the world, for instance, is extreme. A desire to become CEO of the company you’re merely interning in right now? Not a bad ambition. Desire for fulfillment of sexual pleasures? Not bad in itself. It’s when it crosses the line, cheating or prostituting for instance. When desire channels our energy towards an important goal, we are using our human abilities to the fullest.
Untitled # 3
Can’t I do anything right? Do you have to pick on everything? I will be me; you can be you. We are different, and I don’t want to be like you. I am my own person, and so are you. We have a different idea on how to live. You are determined to make me do what you want. You want to control everything I do and you think all I do is try to piss you off or rebel somehow. Don’t you remember being a teenager? Do you really think I do things just to spite you? Do I have to be perfect all the time? Do you need to be on top of my every move? Can I please live my own life? I want to learn on my own, make my own mistakes. I want to wear the cloths I like. I like the way my high top Chuck Taylors look with my shorts. It’s cool whether you like it or not. I love the all black outfits I pick out; I love the goth look I try to project. Why can’t I just be me? And for your FYI, not everything I do reflect on you. It did when I was 7, but I’m old enough to make my own decisions. The things I do affect me, people will judge me. Whether they like my personality or not, it’s their problem. I’m happy with whatever they think as long as you let me be myself.
